Mom of the Year . . . and a Giveaway

Hello, hello! I have been trying and trying to get a post up for nearly a week, but apparently I'm too thick to figure out how to add pictures to a mobile blog post with just my phone and/or iPad and my 3G cellular network.

I tried to be patient and problem solve to figure it out, but in the end I was too impatient. Big surprise, I know.

Anyway, the girlies and I are on our yearly trip to California. We have family spread out from the San Francisco Bay Area to San Diego County, so it's always a two week affair. On our yearly trip, there's this phenomenon that occurs when I get about 30 minutes away from the Bay Area where I just HAVE TO GO SHOPPING!!! It's like Shopping Tourette Syndrome, where I start twitching and my eyes flick back and forth looking for a mall. Shopping Malls beckon like jewels amongst the rolling hills.

Come hither. See my wares. Touch them and be content.

Wow, that sounds a little porny. Not what I was going for.

I believe this shameful consumer impulse falls upon me because I am, in my mind, shopping deprived in my little neck of the Famous Potato State. Lame first world problem, I realize this.

We have a little mall, but it's not a MALL. I don't want to dis where I live too much, because really I love it, and not being able to shop on a grand scale is actually a good thing for my family's continued well being. I just need to get a fix once a year is all. Want to get a fix.

And fix I did. In the picture above the girls and I are standing in one of my favorite stores, Williams-Sonoma. I love, love, love that store.

More on that in a little bit, because that's where my giveaway comes in. I first want to share with you yet another example why I deserve to not win Mom of the Year.

Today I was driving back to my Mama Llama's house with her and the girls, and I wanted to drop by Michael's to see the Project Life kits that were recently made available in retail stores. I've been so tempted to order one online, but I really wanted to touch one before I made that leap. And boy, am I ever glad I did. The albums for the kits are enormous. Enormous like a broiler pan long, enormous. I don't know about you, but I don't have any shelves in my home that an album like that will fit on, so I decided I would just stick to my Digital Project Life.

Satisfied, but a little let down, I walked out of the store, got back in my swagger van, and started driving us back home. I was telling my mom about why I didn't buy the thing I went into Michael's for, and Zoe Bug was in the back seat flailing her arms and yelling "Mom! Where's Annie? Mom! Where's Annie?!!!" in increasingly loud bursts of inquiry. I just shooed her inquiry away with a wave of my arm, as if to brush away an errant fly. In my mind Annie was hiding from me in the back of the van like she sometimes does, and then . . .

"Annie! I left my baby in the store! OMG, I can't believe I am driving away from the store where I left my baby! I should have a license to have kids!"

Then Zoe, ever the supportive child and always Johnny on the Spot to make me feel like the excellent mother that I surely must be, exclaims in her horrified voice, "You have a license to be a parent?" 

As if the authorities would be so lame as to bestow me with such a responsibility.

And why would they? I leave my children in stores far away from home, with nary a bread crumb or a GPS with which to find their way home.

I'm raising children without a license. Someone arrest me now. Before I hurt someone.

The irony here is that my Mama Llama is retired Child Protective Services and she made me. What kind of social worker raises a sicko like me?

My Mama Llama does. Blame her.

I know you want to know how this turns out, right?

Well, we get back to the store and I'm thinking I bet I can get back in there without Stinkerbell even realizing I've left. And I did. I found her walking towards the front of the store shortly after I walked in the door, and she did not look panicked. But then this is Stinkerbell we're talking about.

"Ha, ha. Funny story, Stink. You're not going to believe this but I actually drove away from the store and left you here. I forgot you in the store."

And do you know what? She didn't even look surprised at all. She looked at me with this look on her face that seemed to say "Oh, I believe it. I believe it and you're lucky that you came back here after me because I know where we live, and I know your phone number, Woman. And furthermore, I have problem solving skills that you incessantly scold me to use. I have them and I know how to use them. Go ahead and leave me in the store again. Go ahead. Watch what happens."

She said all of that with a look. A look that gave me goosebumps. 

I'm a little bit skeered of my own child. I hope I never do that again.

I wonder if there's some kind of LoJack for kids that I could install? One that alerts me when I get, say a mile away from my child. Enough time to safely alert me and still leave enough time to get back to the scene of the crime and pretend like nothing ever happened.

I'll have to work on the ratting myself out part though. I suck at that. I'm a Tattle Tale.

So, Mom of the Year. Bring it.

Now for the fun part. Looky what I found at Williams-Sonoma. They're Summer Harvest Pie Crust Cutters.

I have the autumn set, but I've never seen this Summer Harvest set before.

This is what you can do with them. Pretty cool, eh?

I bought a set for me, and a set to give away.

The Giveaway starts now, and it ends on Friday, August 9th. Good luck!

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