School Me

I don't know if I have any readers left out there on account of my intermittent posting, but I hope some of you are still out there, because I need some input. Technology input. That request will eventually come after the following long winded narrative, so feel free to scroll down to the bottom if you aren't in a patient mood today.

I understand.

I'm not the kind of person who technology comes easy to, I have to really work at it and take notes. Whenever I get a new gadget or thing, I hand it to Peanut Head to set up, figure out, and tutor me. I have the attention span of a gnat, so he has the added chore of having to spoon feed me over many tortuous sessions.

Some might say he's enabling me, but if they did, they would run the risk of me indelicately tackling them and telling them to shut up and mind their own business.

Our technology relationship is an arrangement that works quite well for us.

The married us.

Me.

Anyway, shortly after the iPad came out, Peanut Head was telling me how I should get an iPad, it would be perfect for me and my alarmingly out of control e-mail situation, my blog surfing, and my general computer addiction. What I heard was "Spend $800, blah blah blah, don't actually accomplish anything productive on an $800 gadget, blah blah blah, $800, blah blah, portable, blah blah, $800, blah blah."

Actually, I don't think he ever quoted a price, that was just the stubborn and pushy automatic rejection response from my Man Giving Advice Listening Filter app.

Peanut Head does not find my cool app the least bit amusing.

In fact, if he were to ever incite divorce proceedings, this app, er . . . character trait would be at the tippy top of his Irreconcilable Annoyances List.

Flash forward six months and I'm on the Apple website working my way through all the commercials, enjoying myself because it's good entertainment, and I actually watch an iPad commercial.

So picture this, figurative tail between my legs I approach Peanut Head and meekly announce "I think I might want one of them iPad thingies." He knows he has won so he just smiles and shakes his head a little bit which, according to my Body Language Translation Dictionary, means "I know you better than you know yourself. Bazing!"

"Heh, heh. Funny, isn't it?" is my reply. It's true and I hate that it's true, but because I want the iPad thingy, I have to admit it. It hurts so bad.

This took place about this time last year, before the iPad 2 came out. Since Peanut Head is so conservative and patient, he suggested that I wait for the iPad 2 to come out because it was going to have a camera, a USB port, and all the other rumors that were going around about the magical new iPad.

According to the rumors, the launch of the new iPad was always just around the corner. It would come out for Christmas, it would come out after Christmas, the new year, with the new iPhone, etc. It was torture, I tell you.

I have to be honest with you, I don't wait patiently. I waited in agony, whining all the time, stalking the Apple website, Googling for the newest and most promising rumor. I was a druggie looking for my fix.

While I was waiting in agony, I had plenty of time to save up for my new BFF. I passed on a Christmas gift from Peanut Head, and then a birthday gift in February. I scrimped and saved, waiting for my one true love.

Finally the fated day came back in March, and I was joined with my BFF. We haven't been apart since, and I love my iPad more than my dog, but less than my children and Peanut Head. Okay, maybe I love the Bunnery Sergeant a little more, but not much more. The point is, I might possibly take a bullet for my iPad.

Not in an important organ or anything, but for sure in one of my extra fleshy bits.

So I've had my BFF for a little over seven months or so, and I've learned a thing or two about it. I'm pretty comfortable with it, but I don't navigate around it quite as well as my fellow sixth grade teacher who has had his iPad for about two weeks and can dance circles around me, on his tippy toes, with one hand behind his back and only using his pinkie finger. For illustrative purposes, that pinkie finger is in a splint.

Because I'm bitter and passive aggressive, let's just refer to him as Robo Techbot from here on out. Not in person, of course. Just on the blog. He'll never know.

I feel a tangent coming on, so I'm going to hit my force redirect key and attempt to get to my point.

A couple weeks ago Peanut Head and I got our Christmas presents early.

BFF #2, the companion to BFF #1.

And I have this to say. What the heck was I doing with a Crackberry when this Bounty of Efficiency and OCD Enabling Tool existed?!!!!

No, really. And I have exponentially fewer apps than Robo Techbot, but I don't even know how I can live now without the apps I have and use.

And since as a rule I'm always ten years behind on all trends, I need some schooling. What are all the cool apps and what can they do for me?

Please, I'm begging you, one junkie to another, what are all your favorite apps?