Zombies and Diversity

I know. Before you even ask I'm just going to say, yes. Yes, I know you probably did come over here wondering how in the heck a comic book site got tangled up in my RSS feed. Stranger things have happened.

For example last night I accidentally set my blog to private and no one could get in for about an hour. There was some freaking out in my in box over that one. Oopsie.

Sorry, I was just playing around with a new blog I started, Controlling My Thighs, and I'm not ready to unveil it yet so I accidentally privatized the wrong blog. My bad.

There really is a point to this post. Somewhere. And I promise I'll get to it in my usual roundabout way.

I actually just want to share a little story about Peanut Head educating the troops. Our troops. Since he can't yell at sweaty Grunts anymore, he has to impart his wisdom somewhere. Since we had kids, they naturally became the recipients of his vast wisdom.

Not unlike the little orienteering lesson with the girls, this particular lesson made a bit of an impact. Not necessarily a positive impact, but an impact.

I'm going to have to sidetrack a little bit before I show you what I'm talking about. I know. That never happens around here. I'm always succinct.

Sidetracking . . . we have a little routine for Sundays. Part of our Sunday routine is Family Movie Time. Peanut Head pops popcorn and we settle in and watch a movie together. Well, a couple weeks ago I bought the movie "Seven Pounds," with Will Smith.

I love Will Smith. He's so sweet.

I couldn't wait to watch the movie, I was so looking forward to it. Peanut Head kept asking me what the movie was about, and I kept telling him "I don't know. I've heard from a lot of people that it's really good, but they couldn't tell me what it was about or else it would give it away."

A plot surprise movie.

I thought we were good with that explanation. I kept telling Peanut Head how excited I was that I was finally going to be able to watch "Seven Pounds."

I excitedly got settled in for the movie. All the while, Peanut Head didn't say a word. But then Peanut Head doesn't talk a lot, so this wasn't unusual. I think it's a Grunt thing.

The movie started and imagine my surprise when this movie came up on the screen."

Seriously.

I felt betrayed. Tricked and betrayed. 

How could my beloved do this to me?

I don't think it was a stretch for him at all. He didn't even laugh. He just acted like it was the plan all along. I kept looking at him, and looking at the movie, and looking at him, and back at the movie. I was confused.

And tricked and betrayed.

I was huffing under my breath and thinking to myself "I should get up. I should get up and stomp off. I have better things to do than watch this drivel."

Except I didn't.

And I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, but I sat there through the whole thing and watched it.

Hey, the popcorn was dang good and I was cozy under that blanket.

And while I didn't love the movie, it wasn't the worst movie I've ever seen. The girls thought it was most excellent. Especially Stinkerbell. She liked it a little too much. Disturbingly so.

But then if you'll remember, she wore this for Halloween last year.

I was not pleased.

I'm trying to focus on the positive here. Against my nature as it is. Perhaps we can use this movie somehow to impart a little educational lesson.

I know.

Diversity. By watching the zombies and respecting the way they choose to live, we are embracing diversity. 

Yes. Bad Parenting Choice save. Never mind calling CPS. We're good now.

Except that The Stink went to school the next day and wrote about the experience in her weekend journal.

Just in case you cannot read the literary masterpiece, here's what it says:

This past weekend I wathed (spelling errors are left alone, even though they are causing my left eye to twitch) a really, really SCARY MOVIE!!! it was called ZOMBIE LAND!!! It made me and Zoe hide under our covers at night time and go with each other to the bathroom! My favorite part was when a huge, fat, wide, round ZOMBIE was standing right in front of the last human's. Then one of the last human's said . . . I'M JUST GOING TO TAKE A LITTLE OFF THE TOP! and cut off his head!

I know. WE'RE SUCH AWESOME PARENTS!!!

I especially love her little smiley face at the end. And her excessive use of punctuation marks. She has her Mama's enthusiasm. Er . . .  exaggerating tendencies.

The problem with exercising bad judgment with our kids and letting them watch such educationally devoid movies, is that they tell people about it.

Dang it.

"Zip, zip, zip it, Sister Girl. Not telling. Not telling the people about the baaaaaaaad movie."

And dangity, dang dang. I still haven't gotten my ESP-to-the-kid messaging system up and running. Must make that a priority.

So now Stinkerbell's teacher, her teacher whom I love as much as cupcakes, probably thinks I'm a Cretin now.

Dang it.