Chocolate Chip Cookies

I know you all need another goodie recipe from me like you need a hole in your head, but I couldn't resist. I've been wanting to get this recipe up for awhile since people keep asking for it, and I had to make them today anyway for a secretary at Peanut Head's office who is having a birthday this week, so . . . I'm all about killing two birds with one stone.

I'm giving you the recipe right up front because I'm going to refer to it. I cannot stress enough how important it is to follow this recipe exactly. People tell me "My cookies didn't turn out like yours," and that is because they don't follow the recipe EXACTLY. Trust me on this. That means no cutting corners and using margarine (Mattie Cake). Oh the horror. Margarine is a FAKE FAT. Do not use it in your baking. I have the ginormous butt to be able to tell you I know what I'm talking about here.

Okay, step one, dump the sugars, BUTTER, and shortening in your mixing bowl and combine it well. Betty Crocker would say, cream it, so do that.

Now it should look about like this. Not ready to start taste testing yet. Be patient.

Dump in the vanilla, baking soda, and salt and mix again.

Now, pay attention here. I have added my eggs and there are four eggs here because I happen to be doubling this recipe today since cookies will be leaving the house, and I'll have a mutiny on my hands if there aren't any left for us. So, pretend you see only two eggs.

I'm going to yell for a moment, so please excuse me. DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOUR EGGS.

It is imperative that you heed this warning. Eggs are fragile. If you beat the crap out of them, your cookies will be fluffy and cake-like. If you want a cake, make a cake. These cookies are intended to be chewy, not cakey.

So, I have made my point and I'm sorry that I got so excited. I get that way sometimes. After you gently mix the eggs into your batter, stirring just enough to combine them, it will look something like the picture above.

Now you are ready to start adding your flour, again being careful to not mix too vigorously. Just enough to incorporate the flour. I tend to make a flour mess because I dump all my flour in at once and repeatedly turn my stand mixer on and off so that it mixes in half turns, thereby expelling a cloud of flour with each turn. It's okay. I mentally prepare myself for the mess, because it's for the good of the cookie.

It's a sacrifice I'm prepared to make.

Now, this is why our cookies look like OCD Chocolate Chip Cookies. We roll the dough into cookie sized balls, about 3/4 of an inch in diameter, and then press them into a bowl full of chocolate chips. Next, gently press down in order to get the chocolate chip hitchhikers.

Then place the cookie ball on your parchment paper lined cookie sheet. Do you see how there's still room for more chips? Flatten the dough ball slightly and then . . .

. . . start adding chocolate chips into all the exposed surface area a quarter of an inch and larger. If you want to add nuts, this is the point where you would do that instead of adding more chips. You want to really cram them on there because the cookie will flatten and you want every bite to have multiple chocolate chips.

You do, right?

They should look something like this.

The time for cooking is quite variable, depending on your oven. Start with 8 minutes and check them every minute until you find your magic number. The cookies are done when they just barely start to brown, like these cookies here.

Here is the bottom of the cooked cookie.

One other important point I'd like to make is that the dark Teflon coated cookie sheets are crap. They will burn the bottom of your cookies every time. Ideally, you want to use Air Bake cookie sheets and line them with parchment paper to eliminate the sticking. They're a tinsy bit more expensive, but worth it in the end and they last close to forever.

So, what do you think?

Are you ready for some cookies?