So You Think You Want Wii Fit?

Peanut Head and I got each other the Wii Fit for Christmas, and as promised, I'm going to give you a little review. A sarcastic review of the sort that I am apt to give, of course.

The Wii Fit uses the Wii Balance Board, which you see above, and one of the Wii remotes to track your movements and your abilities. Or, in my case, lack thereof.

The Balance Board is a pretty amazing device actually. It's pretty sensitive to your movements and it relays that information back to the Wii computer. The Balance Board is also a scale. Oh the horror! And, you're going to find this hard to believe, but it's a bit of a smarty pants too.

As in other Wii games, you need a Mii to represent you in Wii Fit. Building your Mii is fun as you get to pick out the features that represent you best, or completely reinvent yourself if that's your choice. I made my Mii pretty much with my features. Peanut Head's Mii, however, looks like a Gangsta Bank Robber.

However much control you have in creating your Mii, the Wii computer is going to correct the body for you after it weighs you. So if you want a skinny Mii, you're going to have to be that. I put a lot of time and thought into creating my Mii, but after Wii fit ran its calculations, it now looks like a bowling ball. Sad, but true.

When you first start the Wii Fit, it will ask you to step on the Wii Balance Board. Now, I feel like I need to prepare you for this next part. When you actually step on the Balance Board, the Wii computer will say "Oh," with just the right amount of surprise and haughty judgement to make you want to throw the remote at it. Don't do that though, because they break easy and they are $40 to replace. Not that I would know about that.

In fact, the Wii computer takes delight in doing this to you over and over again. It doesn't do it every time you step on the Balance Board, but it does do it frequently.

Before you can get started excercising, the first time you do the Wii Fit anyway, it will ask you to enter your height and date of birth. Then it will give you a Body Test, which is basically a series of exercises designed to test your balance. It will also calculate your Body Mass Index (BMI) and your Wii Fit age. Because I cannot stand on my left foot without falling, and I'm overweight, my Wii Fit age is 56! It was really no surprise to me, because I've never been graceful, and my balance does stink. I run into things all the time too.


So, this is someone else's BMI. Not mine. I got this picture off Google Images. The purpose of calculating your BMI, of course, is to have a starting point and set a goal.


The Wii Fit tracks your progress and your workouts, which is great for an anal spreadsheet prone person like myself.


This is the female trainer. I just call her Cyborg Sally. You get to pick whether or not you want the female or male trainer, and you can switch back and forth if you get tired of them. And you will.

I have to be honest here, the trainers are annoying as all get out. They talk waaaaaaaay too much and they can seem a teensy bit condescending. When you're round, sweaty and cranky that is.

The first couple times you do the Wii Fit program, you don't mind it so much because you haven't really heard all their platitudes yet, but after that third time, you start to get cranky with them. For example, Peanut Head was doing some Yoga last night and Cyborg Sally said to him "Your leg is a little shaky" in her pert, meant to be encouraging voice. Before she could even finish her sentence, Peanut Head barked "Shut Up!" At which point she continued, not phased in the least "In order to get stronger and maintain your core strength, you need to exercise every day." 

Cyborg Sally needs to understand that when people are sweating and straining, they don't need her perky voice talking to them like they're a kindergartener.

Anyway, in the picture above, take a look at that yellow circle on Cyborg Sally with the red dot in the center. You are the red dot and you are supposed to stay in the yellow circle. It's not always easy. I frequently fall out of the circle and bounce off the edge of the t.v. But that's me. I'm sure you'd be much better at it.


This is the male trainer, otherwise known as Robo Cop. He cracks me up.

First off, just look at him. He's stuck in the 80s with those ultra revealing bike shorts. I bet he wears a fanny pack too.

And he has a stubby ponytail. Something I just caught sight of a couple days ago.


He is funny though, on my second day working out with him he rubbed the back of his head and said "Ugh. I think I stayed up a little too late last night."

Whatever Robot Boy, you're dreaming.

The hula hoop is in the cardio section of Wii fit and it's a better work out than you might think. However, it's something you want to do in private. Spectators cannot be held responsible for uncontrollable laughter.

The running is probably my favorite. You use the remote, either holding it or in your pocket, and not the Balance Board. With the remote, you run in place. Peanut Head figured out that you can stand still and shake the remote and your Mii runs pretty fast. We don't cheat though. Well, usually.

There's an annoying Mii Guide that you have to follow and it keeps turning around and waving at you, as if to say "You're slow and yo-o-o-o-o-u can't catch me, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah." In order to get rid of the guide, you need to wait until a little yippy dog starts to run by, then you start shaking the remote super fast and you'll leave your guide in the dust. Then you have to follow the little dog. Robo Dog is a lot more fun to follow because he takes you on a more interesting route.

During your run, lots of Miis will pass you and some of them you'll recognize as other members of your family. My favorite is when Miis come at me from the other direction and trip. They're running and smiling and then FWAP! They're rolling in a cloud of dirt. It's extremely entertaining.

There are four main sections in Wii Fit: Yoga, Strength, Cardio and Balance. Soccer is a game in the balance section and it's hard. You're supposed to shift your weight on the Balance Board to head butt the soccer balls coming at you.

Once you get the hang of it, or not, they start throwing shoes and panda heads at you. You're supposed to avoid those. It's very difficult when you're focusing on aligning yourself to head butt the balls, and then a foreign object comes at you. You automatically want to align yourself with whatever comes at you, just like a deer caught staring into headlights. Usually I get hit full on in my Mii face.

You lose points when that happens. Dang it.

The slalom is another balance game. Also hard, but fun. My favorite balance game is the ski jump. The first 15 or so times I did it, I biffed it and rolled down the mountain in one gigantic snowball, increasing in size exponentially as I progressed. Fun stuff.

To sum it up, the Wii Fit gives you a great workout and tracks your progress along the way. To me, there are only two negatives:

1) The chatty trainers get annoying

2) Because there is so much talking, and you have to constantly push the "A" button on the remote as you move from exercise to exercise, a lot of time is wasted.

And that's a wrap. Don't just take my word for it. Talk to other people and find out what they think of the Wii Fit. You'll likely get a different perspective.