Fear the Scissors

We got the girls' school pictures back this week, and I don't know about you, but I was always gorgeous in my school pictures. Never a hair out of place, stylishly dressed, beaming smile, etc.

So why is it so hard to get a good school picture these days?

Thing 1 has her signature stiff smile face on, which isn't horrible, but the haircut, oh man.

I love the girls' hair cuts, don't get me wrong, but not two days before these pictures were taken, they both congregated in the bathroom to put some finishing touches of their own on their hair.

Can you see the big clump out of the left side of Thing 1's hair, her left, not yours?

And the nice little clump out of the same side of Thing 2's hair?

I have to admit, when I found out about it, which was not the same day I'm embarrassed to say, I didn't wig out. I mean, it's just hair for crying out loud. In my opinion the stuff grows too dang fast anyway, it's always getting in knots, you have to comb it every day, etc., etc.

It used to be that I didn't allow my kids to touch scissors.

I so deprived my kids, that at Thing 1's first Kindergarten parent-teacher conference, I was all prepared to hear nothing but good news about my little darling.

My hopes were crushed almost immediately though, when her teacher said to me in an apologetic voice, "She really needs some practice on her cutting skills. She doesn't know how to cut and she really struggles to keep up with the other kids."

What?!!!! You let them use scissors?! Are you crazy? I don't allow my kids to use scissors! Scissors are dangerous and they cut things with them!

These were my alarming thoughts, mind you.

I went into that first parent-teacher conference a fresh-meat, positive, Kindergarten Parent, and I left feeling like I had just been called to the Principal's office and given a good tongue lashing.

Well, I was going to make sure from here on out that my kid could cut circles around her Kindergarten teacher. The next day, I went to the store and I bought Thing 1 kid scissors and I instructed her to use them.

And use them she did.

And she got better. She was cutting out circles, and squares, and pictures out of magazines. You name it, she was cutting it.

Then she cut our skitzo cat's ear in half. Just because she could.

But it was a nice, straight cut. A cut to be proud of. And cat ear was a new medium for her, so she gets extra points for difficulty.

Poor cat. From then on she had three ears.

To be fair, I thought I should share mine and Peanut Head's Kindergarten pictures with you.

Prepare yourselves.

Would you look at that crazy baby chick hair on Peanut Head? The acrobatics that his hair performed then still happen today.

And here I am. Remember that I told you how great I looked in my school pictures?

I lied.

I cannot stand this picture. Whenever I look at this picture, I can hear my then mouth-breathing like Darth Vader self and I want to die.

My Mama Lama loves this picture. She says it's her favorite. Ugh, now that is a picture that truly only a mother could love. And that haircut, I'll take my girls' butcher jobs any day of the week over this one.